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Saw a squished raccoon, quite dead, at a 4-way stop sign while I was waiting for my turn to go. The poor guy was probably scooting around to look for his mid-day meal. Little did he know that some careless driver was also looking for his midday meal and wouldn’t care to wait.
Death is so random. So unforgiving. It either strikes you suddenly without a warning, or comes to you in little painful stages, making sure you feel its presence getting closer and closer. It either comes to you stealthily and attacks from behind your back, or comes to you looking straight in your eye, well announcing it’s oncoming.
Seems unfair, whichever way I see it. We scurry around day and night dealing with our petty existential issues. Every day is a struggle to make things better for ourselves and for those around us. We should be getting rewarded at the end of it all. Instead, we get either a wham-you-never-know-what-hit-you kinda end, or a painful tragic adios. We work so hard just to lose it all at the end.
Death in all its perverse uncertainty renders life precarious. We do our best to make things ‘stable’, but we forget that it is not in life’s nature to be so, because it is always being watched over by death. Even if our material existence seems close to perfect (which so rarely happens anyways), our true existence can never be stabilized.
Which makes me think, is all the struggle even worth it? It’s all gonna go, sooner or later. Why don’t I just take a breath right now while I still can breathe…
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Existential angst? Now who did I hear say that (perhaps in a movie)
ReplyDeleteYes, the struggle is worth it for the fun of life in the journey and the road that we take. The destination is the same for all of us, but we are free to choose a road of our liking. Mine will surely be a country road in spring with a touch of lavender trees around, and of course with agreeable company to talk about life's travels and its travails! Does that picture ring familiar bells in anyone?
- W
@W:
ReplyDeleteBeautiful picture!...I'll just add that agreeable company can make every road seem like a country road in spring with a touch of lavendar trees around :)
The evanescence of life has taught me to cherish every journey. Agreeable company is welcome, and indeed something to cherish; but does not enhance the fragrance of jasmine bough or make a wilted daffodil touch the deepest nook of my heart.
ReplyDeleteI paradoxically admire an almost surreal permanence in nature's fluctuating seasons, a magical surprise and calm in her violent storms and an innate delight in seeing tiny wild flowers grow in the midst of nowhere.
What then can agreeable company do more for me? For I know agreements wither away within a few steps, trust is overrun by prejudice and smiles replaced by inexpressive faces despite the beauty of the everyday world that surround our journey. The inexpressive faces that evolve with every step stifle my feelings and the drab monotony and vulgarity of human selfishness suffocates my breath. I seem eager to step into my personal heaven, in the midst of my writings and my walks and forever trust the beauty of my world to fill the void left by an agreement-disagreement saga.
Try as I might, I fail to experience the magical transformation of my beautiful world into anything better by any one individual. Maybe I expect too much from my company, maybe I have never been with agreeable company. But I am sure you will agree that it is hard to argue with someone who is so happy with his mundane but beautiful world to even notice if his company is accompanying him or not. Give me a choice, and I will journey along alone into my personal heaven than agree to traverse a path with agreeable company while hoping that the company will make-up for the lack of beauty on the journey. Maybe I am too scared to be hurt by my company or maybe just plain content. Well, thats ME! :)
- W (and Searching for my own answers)
@W:
ReplyDeleteI see what you're saying almost as clearly as if I was thinking this myself. Numerous times have I faced the realization that the most agreeable company is in fact my own. But hope still lingers. The heart still yearns....