Me, Myself and Facebook

Facebook. The only ones I know who are not ‘on FB’ are my pet Lisa, and my dirty old sock, who has tragically lost his partner, and hence any desire to get into the washer or log onto FB. Pretty much everyone else is there.

The genius of FB, and most other social sites, lies in the simplicity of the concept. Here’s a forum to meet, connect, network and share. Anyone around the globe with access to the internet, can reach out to anyone else around the globe with access to the internet. The possibilities are endless.

And yet, most of what goes on is plain disappointing.

As if we don’t fake enough in real life, now we have resorted to virtual faking. If your life is really as amazing as what you depict on FB, then you really wouldn’t feel the need to show it off to all these random ‘friends’ (when was the last time you actually called any of them?).

What bothers me is the extent to which people put their personal lives out there. This is not a forum where you have just a few select friends with who you don’t mind sharing personal stuff with. The whole damn world is out there (read - long-forgotten acquaintances, school teachers, uncles and aunts you don’t even remember how you are related to, your grandparents and their cousins, your colleagues, your exes and their spouses,…the list goes on).

With so many eyes on you, you are obviously going to put the ‘nice’ stuff out there and leave out the bad stuff. So I see these glorious pictures of your trip to the Grand Canyon with your family, but who’s gonna tell us about that nasty quarrel with your spouse at the onset of the trip, and that all the smiling and cuddling was only for the camera? If we don’t know the bad stuff along with the good, we can’t know you. You were and will remain a stranger to me, even though you have put pictures of your intimate moments with your family out there for me.

Honestly, I don’t even care. Most of FB ‘friends’ are people I have happened to have ‘found’. These are people that I have not bothered to keep in touch with over the years. Many of them I only remember by face. I may not even remember how I know them! Why would I care if she takes a trip to the Grand Canyon with her husband and two kids? I don’t want an extra email in my inbox reminding me to log in to FB, every time she takes a trip. Believe me, I have tried to take an interest. After all, these are people who at some time or another have been a part of my life. But seeing how ‘well’ they are doing in their lives just makes me feel miserable about mine. Am I a case gone seriously wrong, or are there dirty hidden secrets beneath all that glamor on FB? I’d like to believe the latter, even if it’s just for the sake of my own sanity.

So why am I even on FB?

I seriously don’t know :) I don’t do anything on FB except accepting friend requests. And that’s the only time I even log in. And yet, there is this desire to stay on. Mediocrity is addictive. Perhaps it’s the need to belong. Or the worry that if some day there is a genuine need to network, I may not know where to start.       

With no intent of sounding condescending (after all, I'm one of you FBers too), I would say - perhaps instead of making FB all about us, we could use it to channel information, talent (your own or something that you are inspired by), humor, intelligent debates on relevant issues, or worthy causes (I know a lot of shelter animals get adopted because volunteers and friends of volunteers post information and pictures of these animals on their FB pages). A few family pics once in a while is good too. It would be interesting to see how much your son has grown since the last time you posted a pic. And please, cut out the shenanigans. You can't possibly be taking vacations to exotic places all the time!

The power to reach out to millions of people can be limitless. We just have to rise above ourselves and our mediocrity.